A Holiday Poem and A Funny Surprise

Our Holiday Poem

'Twas the holiday season, and all through the house

we were gettin' excited from the smell of baked grouse--

Little boy'd gone huntin' and brought home a brace

of fine forest foul, boyish pride on his face;

we ALL were quite tickled, I'd have to admit,

and even the dog seemed especially lit;

Mom launched a plan for a dinner complete,

logistically, always a phenomenal feat!

Grandma'd made taters and green beans with bacon,

a salad, and Jello we'd soon be partakin';

One Sister brought pie and a dark chocolate thingy;

The other's cheese dip was warm and real stringy.

The shrimp plate had dwindled to nothing but tails,

and the fresh-squeezed cider was served from its pails.

It was time to sit down for the actual feast

the tablecloth perfectly ironed and creased,

when SUDDENLY, up from the din that surrounded,

a SHRIEK arose so that my POOR head just pounded!

Everyone looked to where Grandma stood gawking,

hand over mouth so there'd BE no more squawking.

Her eyes went to mine and were wide as can be,

and I looked down a bit squeamish to see....

Now it wasn't quiet Christmas, but Thanksgiving had passed,

real snow hadn't fallen, but was coming on fast,

our Black Friday presents were stashed in the closet,

and our bank acount needed another deposit;

yesterday, we'd all gone together to Costco

after checking for sales in the mall up in Moscow....

Grandma had groaned, but we drug her along,

caught her flirting with Santa and scolded her strong,

and after a day full of festive delights,

we took in the sparkly Lewiston lights;

on the trip the kids named each other reindeer

with the THOUGHT of the WINTER ball coming to cheer;

Big brothers were named Dasher and Dancer,

Sisters decided on Vixen and Prancer,

The brother and wife would dance through the night

with beauty and grace in which all would delight;

The daughter of course, would dispense all her charm

defining PROPRIETY on many an arm--

The newly weds always bring smiles

our family is growing with long distance miles!

O, how delightful the holidays are!

Since the wise men determined to follow that star

when, long ago, Jesus was born to give life

and quiet eternally all of Man's strife!

How we are blessed with loved ones around

who're willing to share so that all may abound!

How we've delighted in our little valley

in the people who work hard together to rally

behind our good leaders and businesses small,

who reach out and help to provide for us all--

But back to my story, I almost lost track--

we'd assembled again and without any lack;

the table was set, and the portions were served

when SUDDENLY, SCREAM! And we all were unnerved!

I looked at Grandma; she looked at me,

both of us mortified as possible to be;

then into the bowl of Jello she pointed--

our necks all careened, like doubly-jointed,

and, there, encased in their well-molded sheath,

there at the bottom, we all saw her teeth.

"I wondered just where I had lost my good set,"

she mumbled, then melted in everyone's debt.

The silence that followed was awkward... until...

somebody snorted an' 'bout blew out a gill.

Mayhem exploded, some to the floor,

some had to stumble their way out the door;

But finally when all the hubbub subsided,

our little man spoke up, and for all he decided,

"Grandma, I'm glad you made red and not yellow;

Grandma, will you please serve me some Jello?"

I got the spoon and the nice, chilly bowl;

I filled up that spoon, and I served him its toll,

and then I gave wiggly scoops to the rest,

and we ALL enjoyed Jello together, in zest!

Now may you each find similar pleasure

this year in connection and joy without measure;

Our prayer is for family without any fright!

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!